7 years ago today...

My fiancee was house-sitting for his boss...got a flat tire...found out that his spare was flat...had to call in to work at McDonald's and let them know that he wasn't going to make it in...I missed my 7:00 am economics class, and we decided to make the day better by getting married!

We went to work (once the tire situation was taken care of) moving as much of my stuff out of my parent's house as we could (just in case they took the news very badly...) Went to the DMV to get a marriage license (after we got the paperwork in, my dear hick of a husband asked if we just went in back to get married...) went to the courthouse to find out when we could get married. We tried to call some friends to find witnesses, changed into nicer clothes, bought a disposable camera, and had dinner at McDonald's (what can I say? They had one of the Monopoly games going at the time! Plus, it was in our budget!)

We arrived at the courthouse right after the workday was over, and headed up to the judge. The two clerks served as our witnesses (and one of them even was willing to be our photographer!) and we were legally joined as man and wife. (Now, about six months later we had our marriage blessed by the church)

My parents took it better than expected...my in laws were fine with it...and I spent that night at my parent's home with my dad, as hubby still had to house sit for one more night!

I love you, sweetie!!!

Doctor's Appointment...

Okay, first of all, I would just like to say that I am hot and I don't feel good, and I am feeling rather miserable!!!

That being said, I thought I should at least do an update on my last doctors appointment (which was a week ago, today!)

Eva and I stayed the night at my in-laws last monday so that my MIL wouldn't have to drive through construction to pick me up AND drive through construction to get up to Denver (go figure, out of four roads out of our town, two of them are currently under construction...the one between here and the in laws, and the one that is the route to Denver with bathrooms rather than fields in an emergency...) Of course, we still managed to get a later start than anticipated, so I had to call the doula I was interviewing to let her know that we would be about 30 minutes late.

Got to the Barnes & Noble with Starbucks that I was meeting her at, but sadly, since we were rushed for time, I got to look at no books and drink no starbucks...What a bummer!

So, I talked to the doula and she seems really good, so I went ahead and hired her, I guess! I mean, we'll sign the contract at my first prenatal visit, which is up in the air until I have a firmer idea of when I will next be up in Denver for a doctor's appointment! She is a hypnobabies instructor, and is working on getting certified as a Bradley instructor, so that is good news. She also is anti-lamaze breathing...and since I hated the lamaze-type breathing we were instructed in (but never got to use) with Eva, I am much more into the relaxation/natural breathing concept. I guess that I'll just write more after my first prenatal visit with her, when we determine what I think I would like to try!

So, got to the doctor's office and had the ultrasound with the nurse practitioner...everything looks good. She kept raving about what a great picture of the heart she was getting (with Eva, I almost got sent to a fetal heart specialist for no reason...) and Charlie is measuring right on! Eva was very excited to see the screen (not so excited to be in a doctor's office!) and when the ultrasound was over, she kept saying "more baby!!! More baby!!!!"

The nurse practitioner kept TRYING to find out Charlie's gender...but I guess I'm having another modest kiddo! Feet were right in front of the genitals, and she couldn't see anything from a back view, so she said that if she had to guess, she would guess it is another girl...but as she didn't see ANYTHING, it would just be a guess!

I didn't even ask her to try to find out...I guess it must be standard, unless you state at the beginning "don't tell me!!!"

As for how my prenatal care is going to work from here, it will be every other visit. So, at 24 weeks, I go here, and am supposed to get my glucose tolerance test. If I pass the one hour screening (which I am doubting I will, but I guess it could happen!) I will go to Denver for 28 weeks, here for 30, there for 32, here for 34, and there for 36. Since my doc down here thinks that I should be living in Denver starting at 36 weeks, he probably will not want to see me down here past 36, so all subsequent appointments would be in Denver...

Of course, if I flunk the one hour test, I am wanted up in Denver ASAP for the 3 hour screening. And if I fail the 3 hour, I'll have to go up to meet with a diabetic counselor! So, I am HOPING that in that case, I'll be able to do several appointments down here before 36 weeks...but who knows how this is going to work!!!

Next appointment in Denver is set at 28 weeks with the other doctor in the practice, so that I get a chance to meet him sometime before I go into labor!!!

So, there was my fun appointment...as one of my math teachers always liked to say "clear as mud, isn't it?"

To find out, or not to find out...

That is the question I am really struggling with.

Now, with Eva...we didn't want to know the gender....and she didn't want us to know either, so it worked out really well.

However, there is a part of me that needs to be prepared if this next one is a male child...I mean, having to deal with little boy parts in a diaper is going to be a shock to my system after almost 2 years of little girl parts in diapers...

It's not so much the "I want to get appropriate clothes" argument...I have to many psycho relatives chomping at the bit to buy baby clothes to care...

It's not the "I will feel a closer bond to the child if I find out the sex" argument...as I really don't care overall...

It's not even the "how will I decorate the nursery if I don't know whether to paint it pink or blue" argument, as Charlie will live in our room for a long time, and then move in with Eva for a long time in her already gender neutral (red) room...

And it's not the argument we could make about "we need to start planning for a move to a bigger house in about 5 years if it is a boy child, since we live in a two bedroom house"...I just can't handle planning that far in advance (and we've never lived anywhere for more than 3 years in our 7 years of married life anyway, so I won't assume we will still be here in 5 years!)

It's really all about the diapers...

How sad is that???

Hiring a doula...

As I have mentioned before, I am going to have to deliver Charlie up in Denver. That's about 3 1/2 hours by car. My doc down here is all for me living up with my mom and dad starting at 36 weeks. My doc up there thinks I should be fine at home until I go into labor. I am thinking about taking the middle ground, and moving up there at about 38 weeks (assuming no labor before then!)

Now, I will just put this bluntly...I do NOT want to go live with my parents...there is a reason I got married and moved out...we do not live well together. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents...it's just that they are so much easier to love when they are at least 3 1/2 hours away!

My mom, who is very thoughtful in a scary kind of way, made a comment when they recently visited. She said that since my hubby will be down here at work most likely when I go into labor, that she would be there for me at the hospital. She said she'd even take the day off work. Now, I know that this is going to sound ungrateful...but I really hope she doesn't! My mom is a very good teacher...but a very annoying nurse (she likes to hover). At the hospital, there will be professional nurses, who will have more important things to do than harass me constantly. I pretty much like to be left alone. I don't feel a great need to "bond" with everyone I meet. (My mom will strike up a conversation in the grocery store line with a complete stranger...Eva does it too...but I just am NOT that social!) That's probably one of the reasons I've never found a female doctor that I liked...because so many women like women doctors who can relate to them. I relate better to male doctors. Let me know if there is something I need to know, but otherwise, just do your thing and get out!

So, perhaps I am not the ideal candidate for hiring a doula. After all, they are supposed to help make the mom comfortable. I'm hoping that I can find a doula willing to do this with a minimum of conversation.

So, there is no doubt that after my experience with Eva, I am normal in terms of being terrified of labor. In many ways, it would be a lot easier if I knew my hubby would be present when I thought I was going into labor...it would at least avoid embarrassing trips to the hospital by myself (or worse, with my mom!) So, hopefully by having a doula to call, I'll be able to avoid those situations.

So, I just ordered a used book off of Amazon about Doulas (preggo brain has already made me forget the title!), and on Tuesday (the day of my 20 week ultrasound...more on that later!) I am going to meet with one doula who seemed the best via e-mail and her website (doesn't have tons of experience, but has had at least one VBAC and one plus sized client) to see if I want to hire her. I really want to want to hire her (if that makes any sense) because the whole "searching for a doula" thing is getting old really fast!

The good news about doulas in Colorado, though, is I was afraid they'd all be earth goddess hippies from the People's Republic of Boulder...but EVERY single one I contacted had a Christian (to some extent...there was one Mormon, which I would not technically consider Christian) background. Of course, the only Catholic said she had no religious philosophy and worked with all kinds of mothers (pagan, lesbian, etc.) but that she was a practicing Catholic...I didn't get a very good vibe from her anyway...but I really would prefer a protestant to a cafeteria Catholic...

Heaven...

Okay, I am enjoying a moment of heaven...

I am having lunch, and for lunch today I am having my college breakfast (best meal of the day for me then...)

Nothing, and I repeat, nothing is better than a toasted onion bagel smothered in cream cheese accompanied by a diet coke...

Okay, in college it was generally an untoasted plain bagel (hard to find a toaster or onion bagel on campus) and a regular coke (had to have caffeine and sugar before those 8 am accounting classes!) And I guess I have to fess up that I now use the low-fat cream cheese with the unpronounceable and unspellible name...

But still...it's heaven!!!